Crying or making a fool of yourself
“I don’t want to be an inconvenience to anyone.”
What does it feel like?
For many patients, a significant part of dental anxiety isn’t just about the treatment itself, it’s about how they believe they might behave during the appointment. There is often a fear of becoming emotional, crying, panicking, or “not coping,” and then feeling embarrassed about that reaction.
Patients may worry about being seen as difficult, dramatic, or inconvenient. Some people feel pressure to appear calm and composed, even when they are feeling anxious internally. This fear can feel particularly strong for adults, who may believe they “should” be able to manage dental treatment without distress. The idea of showing vulnerability, especially in a professional setting, can feel uncomfortable or even shameful.
Importantly, this fear is often less about the dentist’s actual reaction and more about the patient’s own expectations of themselves. It reflects a concern about losing composure and being judged for it.
Why might it develop?
This fear is often linked to social and cultural expectations around emotional control. Many people grow up with the belief that showing distress, particularly in public or professional environments, is something to avoid.
Past experiences can also play a role. If a patient has previously felt embarrassed after becoming emotional, in a dental setting or elsewhere, this memory can shape future expectations. Even subtle reactions from others can reinforce the idea that emotional responses are not acceptable.
There may also be an internal narrative of “I should be able to handle this.” When reality doesn’t match that expectation, it can lead to self-criticism and increased anxiety.
"Feeling emotional is not “making a fool of yourself” It is your body responding to stress. Allowing yourself to feel that response, rather than trying to suppress it completely, can actually make it easier to manage."
How it affects dental avoidance
This fear can lead patients to delay or avoid appointments altogether, particularly if they anticipate that they might become emotional. Some may cancel appointments at the last minute because they feel they “won’t cope.”
Even when patients attend, they may feel tense or focused on suppressing their emotions. This can actually increase anxiety, making it more likely that they will feel overwhelmed.
In some cases, patients may avoid communicating their fears, as they don’t want to draw attention to themselves or be seen as difficult.
What can help?
One of the most important things to understand is that emotional reactions are extremely common in dentistry. Supporting patients who feel anxious, tearful, or overwhelmed is a normal part of dental care, not an inconvenience.
Letting your dentist know in advance can make a significant difference. A simple statement like, “I might get a bit emotional,” allows the team to approach the appointment with additional support and understanding.
It can also help to reframe what is happening. Feeling emotional is not “making a fool of yourself” — it is your body responding to stress. Allowing yourself to feel that response, rather than trying to suppress it completely, can actually make it easier to manage.
Small adjustments, such as taking breaks, using distraction techniques, or starting with shorter appointments, can also help build confidence over time.
